


That's Just How I Feel

by bloodsugar



Series: Am I Wrong [7]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Bundesliga, Dating, Developing Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Wooing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2597822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsugar/pseuds/bloodsugar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>What is happening to Robert is dangerous – it isn’t that he is reverting back to some teenage state of mind where his new boyfriend is the center of his universe, but it’s still somehow exactly what is happening. Being with Marco, and particularly not being with Marco has left its toll on Robert’s psyche, taking away some of his self control and turning him into a helpless boy in love. It’s been a good few years since he was last like this, in fact, he’s not quite sure he has ever been so much into someone else before.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Just How I Feel

 

_**[N](http://footiez.tumblr.com/tagged/lewaneus)** ow am I wrong_   
_For trying to reach the things that I can't see?_   
_But that's just how I feel,_   
_That's just how I feel_   
_**[T](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmEJZofz2s)** hat's just how I feel_

 

 

 

Marco picks Robert up from the airport, and it takes all of Robert’s resolve not to swoop the blond into his arms and spin him around as soon as he sees him. What is happening to Robert is dangerous – it isn’t that he is reverting back to some teenage state of mind where his new boyfriend is the center of his universe, but it’s still somehow exactly what is happening. Being with Marco, and particularly not being with Marco has left its toll on Robert’s psyche, taking away some of his self control and turning him into a helpless boy in love. It’s been a good few years since he was last like this, in fact, he’s not quite sure he has ever been so much into someone else before. No man or woman ever really brought that little fire to Robert’s chest at the mere thought of them.

 

He sees Marco’s gorgeous blond head from the top of the escalator and politely makes his way down between the people he shared the flight with, pushing a couple of them out of his way. Robert thinks he hears a young gentleman curse at him, but his ears are attuned to Marco’s steps toward him instead, so he can’t be sure about it. They meet halfway in the end, naturally blocking the path of the people coming off of the escalator, and that’s when Robert definitely hears the kid call them “damn homos”. Robert lets Marco steer him away from the offending spot, and takes it as a compliment. If they’re homos, this means they’re together, and the space between them doesn’t matter. Not that there is any space between them now.

 

Robert clutches Marco to him shamelessly, his arms around Marco’s back and his fingers sunk into the blond’s waist. They hold each other for a moment before Marco slips out of Robert’s grip – and it is no easy task by any means, kudos to him – and steps back some, looking Robert up and down with inquisitive hazel eyes. “You look good.” He finally says, his tone up beat and lively, the corners of his lovely lips tilted upwards in a smile which Robert ends up fixating on like starved man. Which, objectively he is – a man starved for a kiss from his chosen one. Annoyed at his own choice of words, Robert reaches for Marco’s hand, taking it in his and leading Marco out of the airport confidently. It seems the only time he’s not pining like a moron is when he’s touching Marco, and the solution is obvious.

 

 

 

At Marco’s house, Robert drops his small luggage to the floor and backs Marco into the hallway wall, a thrill of excitement going through his body when Marco gives him a hooded little look, his arms encircling, and then setting on Robert’s shoulders. Even if this docility will not last long, Robert fully intends to take the opportunity to take the lead, since Marco clearly lets him do so, before the blond changes his mind. Robert thinks he can’t decide which side of Marco he likes more – the dominant or the soft one, but his inner dilemma dissipates completely as soon as their lips meet.

 

Robert leans into Marco, pressing them together fully, grunting low in his throat when Marco’s lips part with a little moan to immediately accept his tongue. The sound is music to Robert’s ears, and Marco’s taste makes up for those long days apart in a second. Robert squeezes Marco by the hips, pulling him and holding him close as they kiss, deep and languid, urgency giving way to pleasure. And it is unmistakable pleasure, it feels so good to be kissing Marco again, Robert’s mind is in a daze as to what else he’d wanted to do with the blond.

 

When they finally do break apart, Marco leans back against the wall and gives Robert an open look, something in his eyes Robert can not quite name. “I missed you.” He says then, and whatever fog was lingering over Robert’s mind from the kiss is suddenly gone, giving way back to the fiery need he’s had to deal with since he left Dortmund the last time. He practically twitches, wanting to grab Marco and hold him tight; to never let him go. Instead, trying to pull himself together, Robert nods and reaches for Marco’s chin, finger stroking over Marco’s jawline. “I missed you… a lot.” Robert admits, and that’s as far as he gets to saying what he really means which is ‘I missed you so much I nearly went coo coo with it, and I need you to keep me sane’. He knows Marco could stand to go a couple of days without hearing evidence of Robert losing his mind.

 

 

They have lunch together, Robert making it his business to ask Marco how his week has been, what he’s been up to in his free time, and of course how he is handling BVB’s losing streak in the Bundesliga. Marco gets that look on his face when Robert brings it up, that look which means he doesn’t want to think about it, doesn’t want to talk about it, that the whole topic is trouble. But he answers anyway, stabbing his fork into his chicken breast with a bit more vigor than necessary.

 

“It makes no sense, really, I don’t know what to tell you.” He shrugs, looking annoyed, and Robert waits patiently for him to get it all out, his appetite giving way to concern. “We win Champion’s League matches easy enough, but then Bundesliga… it is like some weird curse hanging over our heads. We’re not doing anything different.” Marco gives Robert a look then, wide eyed, annoyed and confused all at once. Robert can relate to the feeling, how else would Marco feel in that situation. And of course, unless BVB is doing something drastically different in Bundesliga than they are in the Champion’s League, then it probably can not be helped and is up to luck instead. Robert is about to say this, opting for reassuring and helpful, when he realizes just how vulnerable Marco suddenly looks. He abandons the words in favor of scooting his chair closer to the blond and takes Marco’s hand, squeezing it in silence.

 

After a while Marco shifts to face him, his bright hazel eyes worried as they meet Robert’s. “Robert,” he says, looking like he’s searching for something for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to be last on the league table.” His voice wavers just enough for Robert to feel like a dozen arrows have just penetrated his chest. At a momentary loss for words, he embraces Marco around the shoulders and squeezes him.

 

“I know it seems bad.” Robert murmurs, half expecting Marco to push him away, but the blond turns into him and accepts the care instead. “But it is temporary, it won’t last forever.” Nothing lasts forever; Robert knows this better than anyone and chooses not to add it. “It’s early on in the season, by the end of it anything could have happened. You could be at the top by March.” Vaguely it occurs to Robert that maybe him saying this is controversial, seeing that he plays for another team, but none of that seems to matter when it is just he and Marco there. Especially not when Marco needs him like this.

 

They don’t speak much of it after that, the topic a sore spot of Marco’s right now, and Robert feeling like he has said enough sensible things to help. They do more or less come to the agreement that as experienced footballers, they can’t take a losing streak as the end of their careers or the downfall of their clubs, and putting it like that seems to help Marco get some perspective and hope. Robert wishes he can fix it all again, make everything better, but he comes short on ideas how.

 

 

After lunch, Robert helps Marco wash the dishes, which Marco seems very impressed with. Robert tries not to let it get to his head, but it totally does in the end. He’s going to make a kick ass boyfriend, as soon as Marco gives him confirmation that yes, that is indeed what Robert is to him. Robert manages to wait out the dish washing process, and makes it to the point where they’re choosing which game to play on the Xbox Robert bought Marco, when it just slips.

“Some games are only available for PlayStation, so I think that as your boyfriend I should buy you one.” Mentally, Robert pats himself on the back. This is what you waited for, he tells himself, you kept it together so you can say it exactly like this. From the way Marco turns and eyes Robert – like Robert has lost his mind – the brunet can tell they’re thinking more or less the same thing.

  
There is a moment of awkwardness, but Robert doesn’t have enough time to wonder if he messed up before Marco comes to sit next to Robert on the couch, facing Robert and tangling their legs together as he grins. His smile is happy but coy and Robert wants to kiss Marco and keep kissing him until it’s time for their flight to Munich. He’s smiling too by the time Marco pats his knee and leans in to peck his lips. “You can’t buy me everything, even if you’re my boyfriend.” He says as he pulls back, leaving Robert to raise his eyebrows.

 

“If?” Robert can’t help but ask, searching Marco’s face for an answer. Does Marco mean “even if” as in “even though” or as in “even if at some point”? Robert needs to know this, because every fiber of his being is already telling him to go buy Marco a ring and tie them together in ways the world can notice if it looks hard enough.

 

Marco smiles at him again, that subtle half-smile of his that Robert now finds so infuriating and beautiful, he wants to erase it and then prompt it with his lips all over again. “Yes.” Marco says finally, his tone humoring, like he is talking to a particularly delusional kid. Robert guesses Marco finds his insanity trip entertaining or even amusing. At least one of them should get a kick out of it. “You are my boyfriend, which would make me yours.”

 

Robert isn’t fooled by the calm tone Marco’s voice is adopting, because Marco’s eyes are glinting, positively glinting with it, and this – voicing their status as something more than people who have feelings for each other and sleep together – this looks like it’s making Marco happy. Robert wants Marco to be happy every day of his life, starting now and ending only with their deaths many years from now.

 

There is a lot Robert can say, most of which is unnecessary or silly, so he kisses Marco instead, soft and slow. Marco’s smiling into his mouth, and Robert decides two things as he cups Marco’s jaw and deepens the kiss: 1) this is the best kiss they’ve had to date and 2) Robert wants more.

 

When they break apart, he looks Marco in the eye, smiling. “Can I at least buy you a new car?” Nothing about Robert’s question feels inappropriate until Marco laughs out loud, throwing his head back as he does. What did Robert say now? Marco is so beautiful and shiny in the best of ways. All Robert can do is try and match that with a pretty, shiny new car. In the end it would be more subtle than Robert getting Marco a specific kind of jewelry.

 

“What’s wrong with my car?” Marco asks when he’s done cackling, interlacing his fingers with Robert’s so casually Robert’s heart aches in the best of ways. The Xbox games remain on the table, pretty much entirely forgotten. Robert has moved past gaming consoles. Unless Marco states explicitly that he does not want a new car, Robert knows what to do. The determination is almost pathetic, but he follows it like a dog on a leash. Marco Reus, his _boyfriend_ , will be given gifts, even if it kills Robert.

 

“It’s not as beautiful as you.” Robert says subtly. It’s been too long since he’s had a boyfriend as beautiful as Marco, he won’t apologize for being hung up on this.

This time around Robert gets to see Marco’s reaction, and it turns out he’d been right before when he imagined Marco getting all bashful and cute at the very appropriate adjective. Robert has a short moment to appreciate the sight of Marco all flustered and stunned, but then the blond smacks Robert’s shoulder lightly and shakes his head. “Don’t be such a girl.” He murmurs, but it turns into a chuckle, which Marco then muffles by burying his face in Robert’s neck.

 

Robert slides his arms around Marco’s back and strokes it through Marco’s shirt, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.

 

 

 

Not much later, they play some FPS game Robert has never heard of before, and doesn’t learn the name of because he’s too busy asking Marco if he bought it himself, or if someone else bought it for him. Marco, untouched by Robert’s poorly concealed possessiveness, rolls his eyes at the older man and focuses on killing their enemies. They end up dying in the end because Robert’s attention is limited to Marco’s lips, nose, hair, and Marco’s profile in general. Marco turns to scold him, and he looks so cute when he is aggravated Robert just pounces him, swallowing his lecture in a kiss. He has flown here, damn it, if he wants to stare at Marco, he will do it.

 

After, Marco drags Robert to his bedroom, and they spend the following couple of hours – yes, hours, God bless – in bed. After they make love, twice, Robert lays on top of Marco, uncaring about his weight for a while, relaxing further and further until Marco laughs and groans for him to move. And even then, Robert does so begrudgingly, like a cat nudged away from its favorite spot. He pulls Marco close and sucks at Marco’s collarbone until there is a mark there, at which point he finally relaxes into the bed with a satisfied hum. Thankfully, Marco doesn’t complain about Robert’s slightly primal behavior. On the contrary, curls into Robert’s frame, facing him, and nuzzles at Robert’s cheek.

 

They get out of bed only to order take out, eat when it arrives, and then settle in the bedroom again. Later that night, after they have jokingly – jokingly for Marco, quite seriously for Robert – discussed Marco’s taste in cars, they fall asleep spooning, with Robert as the “little” spoon. Before Robert dozes off, he makes sure Marco’s arm is around his waist, and notices that it isn’t even midnight yet and this is still the happiest he has been in weeks, just laying there with Marco.

 

 


End file.
